I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
