why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
