Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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