just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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