so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
