I think i peed on brittanys purse
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
