Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
