As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
