Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
