Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
