if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize