i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
