Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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