I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
