Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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