I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
dude. I can hear the air.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
