is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
