You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
