Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
