My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
