I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I would fuck him just for his dog
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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