if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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