I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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