We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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