My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
