did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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