im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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