Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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