i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
