I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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