I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
