i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
