I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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