We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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