OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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