I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
