why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
