i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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