Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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