Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
