I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
