But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
