Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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