dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
