i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
