Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
