the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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