If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
