Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
