You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Farmville is her only friend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
