ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
