Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
