I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
