I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
