You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
