So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
