I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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