Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
